Rory Gilmore As I Live and Breath
by TheFishFlyAtNight
Summary: Jess and Rory meet again, what is their life like after 25 years of absence. Oneshot. Rating just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls the characters all belong to the genius which is Amy Sherman-Palladino ect.**

 **I love Literati I do, but this is just an idea that came to me. This is my first attempt at fanfiction so please don't be too harsh and let me know what you think.**

* * *

"Well if it isn't Rory Gilmore as I live and breathe" he said watching her whirl round to face him for the first time in, well let's just say a very long time.

"I haven't been called that in years" she replied smiling that smile he remembers from so long ago, just with years of wisdom and experience and hurt behind her eyes.

"I'm sorry I know, I mean I told you I couldn't come right" he rushed as she smirked at him something he knew she had never done before they dated.

Standing by quietly was a teenager, 14 maybe 15, it took him back to when they had first met; although this girl didn't quite fit the mould there was something different and he knew she must of inherited from her father; then he noticed it, she didn't have those eyes, the crystal blue orbs that had drawn him in, the eyes he had learnt to read her emotions from, they were missing, instead hers were green his heart ached knowing that the hope he had held on to all these years was shattering.

Over the years he had turned into Luke. Although unlike Luke he was never going to get his Gilmore girl, bachelor for life. He had just moved back to Hartford he could barely believe it himself although he had seen his uncle and family regularly he hadn't been back since their wedding, Lorelai's and Luke's, almost 25 years ago, he hadn't seen her since then as he had said goodbye, walking away. Promising himself he would no longer hurt her, no longer be the source of her pain, let her fore fill her dreams and be happy. For everything they had been, they had been friends, he had once known her better than she had known herself. He had stayed away when she had sent the invite, wanting to let her be happy. Luke and Lorelai tried to help but above all he missed her friendship, she had children and a husband and had a high end job at The Times where she could often work from home. He knew, Lorelai called him with an update every month. He wanted to know about her life without ruining it and hurting her. What did he have? He was a best-selling author but that was his life.

He wondered if she still loved Rand, and if she debated Hemmingway with anyone else now.

"It is okay Jess it's good to see you." He finally heard her say as she broke his thoughts, she continued "This is my daughter Cassie, this is an old friend and I guess step cousin Jess."

"It is nice to meet you" he replied far too polite, for the teenager she once knew, turning to Rory "She looks just like you, accept the eyes" he commented.

"Yeah I know, it's weird me and mom always had a thing with our eyes, but it is just us, even her kids have Luke's eyes. Anyway how have you been." She rambled before coming to a stop abruptly surly aware.

"Okay I just moved to Hartford actually and I finally finished The Fountainhead last week." He added with a small smile, the one reserved for her.

"It only took me 30 years or so" he added as he watched her smile wider.

"We should catch up I mean you have probably moved on but were family Jess" she finished softly suddenly seeming nervous.

"Yeah we should" he said smiling softly at her transfixed in their bubble for a moment.

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Later that week Jess smiled sadly across the table at Lorelai coffee in hand, as he began to tell her about his run with Rory. Over the years she had become his Aunt and mother figure in his life, Liz was there in the background being Liz, but Lorelai was there for him just like Luke, he had slowly but surely opened up to her and he talked about her first born daughter with her, something he didn't do with anyone else. She knew he was no longer all bad, and she knew his feelings and why he stayed away.

"I saw her there with Cassie, it was surreal, you know I'd just finished The Fountainhead as well, I told her that" he relates as a smile slips over his lips. "She's pretty, sort of, nothing compared to her mother, she doesn't have the eyes, they always were everything, windows to her soul." He confirms as Lorelai listens in silence waiting for him to continue.

"We met up later, she told me all about her life, how she's happy. How she has everything she always dreamed of. How she's is glad than her unfortunate mistake of conception turned out so well, for you both. I could see it Lorelai, that ear splitting, dancing through the woods crazy happy. Just like I always wanted for her. I was happy Lorelai, I was happy she found that because it's what she deserves, but at the same time it broke my heart and I lost that last bit of hope in my heart, that I could ever be truly undeniably happy. She finally broke me completely, she is my Achilles heel always has been, she broke my heart before but now there is no glue that can mend it again, it's crushed." He finished a silent tear creeping down his face.

As the sound of the front door rushes open and laughter seeps into the house, unnoticed by the two at the kitchen table as Lorelai reaches and holds Jess in her arms letting him cry. Rory and her family and siblings surrounding at her, the sound seeming to mute as they notice the pair. Her siblings look disturbed they have never seen their cousin this way; he's like a carbon copy of how their father used to be gruff and monosyllabic, emotionless. Rory's family stare on at the stranger only guessing at who he might be.

Rory frozen to the spot, white as a sheet pain courses through her body as he looks up and meets her eyes before his face turns unreadable, she knows she caused this she can read him just as well as she could at seventeen. Finally she breaks the silence with his name but it comes out a whisper as she sees him broken in front of her.

He turns to Lorelai tells her that he will speak to her soon, that he should go and to pass on a message to Luke. Before pulling a worn and tattered copy of Oliver Twist handing it to her, a small smile followed by his trade mark smirk, before the simple sentence of "Someone once called me Dodger, it's a good book look after it" then walking to the front door.

She panicked, the family looked confused, she ran after him forgetting the people she left behind as always when it came to him, "Jess are you alright?" She called after him as she reached the porch.

He turned to her and smiled "Are you dancing through the woods crazy happy with your life?" he questioned her.

"Yes." She replied simply knowing that she wouldn't get an answer unless she responded.

"Then yes I am perfectly alright." He replied a sad smile on his lips. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Rory." He added "I'll see you around" before he turned and walked away from her, no longer running, hoping or dreaming letting the major part of her go, he could never let her go completely, she would always be special and he and his books would always be alone. He walked into the night leaving the living and breathing Rory Gilmore behind.


End file.
